This is Why Attorneys Shouldn't Have Babies.

I've contemplated doing an entire blog on my life as a pregnant public defender, but I've never actually taken the time to do it. The stories are endless and most of the time unbelievable, which is why I've considered making it a blog of its own. But today I couldn't resist writing about something that happened.

This fine day actually began yesterday when I picked T up from school at 5:00PM to be told she had a fever and couldn't come back to school for 24 hours. Ryan & I played the "who has the most important day" game and in the end it was me who was the chosen one to stay home with the monkey.

It wasn't my three court appearances this morning that had me worried - those could be covered by anyone. It was the appellate brief I am working on and need to finish before we leave on a jetplane to Oahu in less than 24 hours.  The control freak in me took over and I quickly downloaded Microsoft Word to our Mac so I could work on the brief from home. By 7:00 AM this morning, I was typing away on the brief and chugging down two cups of coffee. WAIT?! WHAT?! This Pregnant Public Defender doesn't drink coffee while pregnant, except on an occasional weekend or holiday. And this is neither. But today, I felt I deserved it given the lack of sleep due to the beach ball in front of me, the constant coughing of Miss T, and the "shit bunnies" - as my Dad calls them - going through my head all night.

Things go quite well from 7-8:00 when I realize it's time for T to shut off the TV so she doesn't fry her brain and become stupid get sucked into the world of TV and Video Games that I am so against. So I get her all set up with coloring pages and supplies and get back to work. "Mommy, look how pretty this is." "Mommy, I drew a mitten." "I drew a teddy bear." "Mommy, I drew a..." ALRIGHT ALREADY! I love this little nugget to pieces but seriously she hasn't stopped talking for the last 45 minutes and I haven't gotten more than one line down!  I finally get Miss T all settled in on the coloring and we both concentrate long enough for me to finish my brief.

I call my trusty paralegal and give her the instructions on the day and she says the other attorney working on this appeal (who shall not be named but most definitely is an old-school, fifty-something year old man with a huge belly who refers to himself as the best attorney in town and generally thinks women are "lesser" than him - BUT I USUALLY DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH) asked her where I was this morning as we were supposed to get our heads together on the brief. She informed him that I was home with a sick kiddo but assured him I was working on the brief from home. His reponse? "This is why attorneys shoudn't have babies." EXCUSE ME WHAT THE WTF DID YOU SAY? That's right, "THIS IS WHY ATTORNEYS SHOULDN'T HAVE BABIES."

Let me make something very clear:
1. FUCK OFF PISS OFF to all you old school, egotistical, male shouvenist, douchebags who think it's acceptable to still live in the mindset that we women should be staying home cooking, cleaning, and raising babies left and right.

But more importantly:
1. Us women, ALL of us women - even those perfect little stay-at-home Moms you're dreaming of Mr. Old Balls - we all strive to keep the perfect balance between a career or a life of our own and the life of our children and our husbands.

2. I think I've done a pretty damn good job handling my duties as a Mom and an attorney. I rarely miss work, thanks in large part to a kick-ass husband who most definitely does NOT believe I should be home raising the babies, and thanks in part to an amazing Nana & Papa who step in if I need them. I also happen to be a kick-ass organizer and scheduler and can usually juggle things around enough that you wouldn't even know I'm gone.

3. I LOVE my job as a public defender. I dreamt of this job as a law student and I am living out that dream every.single.day. I couldn't be happier and my heart jumps a beat when I think about what I actually do for a living. These clients hold a special place in my heart, even the assholes, and I think about them on weekends, evenings, holidays....

4. BUT my family is #1 and will always stay in that position. My career is great, and I am so happy, but my family is the single most important thing in this world. The memories I make with my family? Those are what will matter to me when I'm gone. The sick days with my little nugget when she needs her Mama? That's what's important to me in the longrun. The one missed day where you needed me to go over a brief with you? IT WON'T MATTER IN LESS THAN A WEEK. You will have forgotten all about it. But me? I will not forget what you said. "This is why attorneys shouldn't have babies."

AND I'VE GOT A NEWSFLASH: 

As another attorney (this one being a bitch who will never have kids because she's far too selfish and stuck on herself woman) so kindly pointed out to me in an e-mail a few weeks ago: I'm "busy populating the world" so guess what? There's another baby on the way, which I'm sure to you means I'll be DOUBLE the failure.

This Pregnant Public Defender would like ya'll to know a few things:

1. Both of these babies will be #1 in my life, along with the amazing Mr. I married - and that will NEVER change, no matter how important you think your case is.

2. I will always love this job. I will cherish it and work my ass off every single day to give my clients the best result I possibly can. But that's what you're missing - I do it for my CLIENTS. It doesn't have a damn thing to do with you or your big ass belly skilled trial practices.

3. I am just as capable more capable than most of the guys in this office who are too busy playing with themselves worrying about getting a job at a big firm making the big bucks to think about their clients. 

4. Again, just Fuck off please don't be rude.

5. Last, no I'm not some women's liberal freak. I'm just writing this to let you know that we do have brains and are capable of being a kick-ass attorney AND a kick-ass Mama. And I'm guessing you don't like it because you realize that you could never do both.