We The People...

Well, here we are fresh off of an election night, everyone with welcoming arms to the new President of the United States of America, Barack Obama...or ARE WE?

As I sifted through the many facebook posts, comments and "likes" about this Presidential election, especially the results of the election, I realized something very important. I have figured out what THE PEOPLE (Facebook is the "the People" right??) want, and I know just the candidate.

1. I support "industries" (shout out to my MT peeps).
2. I support gay marriage (yes, I'm still married to a homophobe).
3. I support the underprivileged and the poor (I'm a public defender so this one is a big DUH).
4. I could care less if they legalize or don't legalize pot (I still won't be tokin' and maybe my caseload will get smaller).
5. I do not support "laziness" and "living off welfare" permanantly (but really, does ANYONE?).
6. I do not support "taxing the shit out of those of us who work" (child tax credit = you're not eligible because you make too much. WTF?).
7. I support birth control, especially for rape victims (this is noone's freakin' business anyway).
8. I support small businesses (Etsy, you are my friend. WalMart, you are my enemy!).
9. I support GUN RIGHTS (love my home protection, love my hunter, love my guns!).
10. I support large amounts of ammo (what fun are guns without large amounts of ammo - a little de-stressing anyone?).
11. I do not support "teaching our children that it's ok to be a lazy ass on welfare and take hand-outs from everyone" (I will teach my children that working is healthy and fun, if you pick the right job, and it is not acceptable to take handouts. HOWEVER, I will also teach my children to have compassion for those less fortunate than them - those who may not have been taught the same things as them).
12. I support ONE NATION, UNDER GOD, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.

Now, since I've laid out my platform, I know that the People (facebookers, mainly) will see that I am the perfect candidate for 2016.

J